


Alone

by thinias



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Loneliness, Missing Scene, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 02:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinias/pseuds/thinias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We saw Dean letting Lisa and Ben go back to a normal life, Dean erased their memory with the help of Castiel. He had not wanted to talk to Sam about what happened, and he had threatened to punch him if his brother had done it.<br/>But what happened inside him, in his heart? How he processed the fact that he said goodbye to Lisa?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, this story was written first in italian, so if I made mistakes, just let me know.
> 
> Potete trovare la versione italiana della fanfic [qui](http://thinias.livejournal.com/6351.html)

He woke up on his bed, alone.  
The night had been restless, he was overwhelmed and exhausted because of the few hours of sleep he had managed to do. 

He had dreamed of her. 

He turned himself to see the empty space beside him in the bed, a twitch gripped his chest in a vice. His heart skipped a beat and then another. He took a deep breath trying to dispel that feeling.  
He turned his eyes to not see that empty space and looked at the white ceiling.  
It was empty like his heart, like his soul. He narrowed his eyes and tried to fight back the tears.  
He had been a fool to let himself open up, he had been a fool to believe it, to let this became such an important thing. He put a hand on his forehead, then dug his fingers in his hair. 

Now he was alone, again. 

He had believed in it, oh yeah, he had lowered his defenses, and let her slipped into his heart, he had believed that he could be happy. 

What an idiot. 

Everything was collapsing around him, it always did. 

And his job was always to try to pick up the pieces, to keep his family alive and protect the people he loved, to keep them safe, to protect them. 

He had failed.

When he had lost his family, he had fallen into a deep abyss. His soul had fallen into that hole in the ground with his brother. But he had made a promise. Damn it, he had made that damn promise.  
He had went to her and she, for some unexplained reason, she had taken him in and tried to heal his wounds. She had loved him, and he had allowed her.  
He needed it so desperately, he had never realized how much. He needed someone who loved him, who could took him back to life. 

She was patient, she had given him much, and had not asked for anything. He had loved her for that and now, all of that was lost.  
The open wound in his heart, for putting Lisa and Ben in danger, was so deep that it still took his breath away. He didn't have a choice. Was hurting, God knew.  
But he couldn't let them hurt her and her son... if something had happened to her... He would not have endured. He would had never forgiven himself. 

It was the right choice, he knew. even if it hurted. 

He was alone, again, but more than that, he had caressed a semblance of simple happiness, and now he had lost it.

Was that his fate? To never find happiness?  
The green eyes were focused on the ceiling, shining with unexpressed tears.  
A single tear found is way between the lashes and rolled solitary down his cheek, leaving a wet path on the skin. 

“Dean…”  
In the other bed of the room, Sam was awake.  
Dean put his hand on his face and took away the traces of his sorrow. He placed a half smile on his face and turned to his brother.


End file.
